Drunken escapades episode 1

I had just turned 18, what else was there to do other than go out and drink copius amounts of alcohol just because I could. 
Really ... the  only difference from being 18 compared to 17 was that neither I nor my friends had to make out with the bouncer on the door to be able to get into the club.
Back in 1997 the club of choice was the chevy on a thursday night, the reason? $1dollar vodka drinks.
But just because you could get chea drinks didnt mean we got silly with it ...

Our rule was, what you could carry you could drink

One night after spending close to my budget of $15 dollars on drinks I felt the urge to break the seal.  I always tried to fight this urge and hold out until the stop at maccas before catching the first train home, but I either had to break the seal or risk peeing my pants while standing around trying to not dance.

I had seen a girl pee her pants on the dance floor.  It was not pretty.  It was however funny, and funnier still the two trashy girls who slipped and landed in it thinking it was just beer or some other drink on the floor just got up and kept dancing in their pee stained clothes.

This led to my 2 rules for while out at a club:
1. Always Pee when you need to
2. Be aware of ALL damp clothing - its not always alcohol

So off i stumbled to the toilets, and stumble i did because vodka has teh ability to stop my legs from feeling the ground.

The only toilet that was free was pretty gross, but then all the toilets were rather gross.  I noticed the toilet set was up as i turned around and locked the door.  I pull down my pants and bend over to sit down, because lets face it .. if i squated in my state i would pee all down my legs and into my shoes.  Just as i reach where i thought the seat should be i remembered the seat was up and panic.

The events of what happend go something like this:
1. Panic
2. React a little too quickly to stand
3. Slip
4. Lean too far forward
5. Hit my head on the toilet roll dispenser
6. Knock myself out
7. Fall backwards
8. Bare bottom goes into the toilet

I wake sometime later ... 5 seconds, 5 minutes ... 50 minutes ... I really dont know, all I know was I was stuck.

I didnt have the strength or the co-ordination to get myself out.  What was worse .. I really needed to pee still.
I also had one whopper of an egg on my head.

I start to feel sad for myself until i hear my name being called.  Thankgod, my friends had noticed that I was missing. I call back out directing my friend T to my stall.  She pokes her head under and gets the giggles.  We decide the logical thing would be for her to crawl under and then pull me out.

There she lay wedged under the door, somehow she too got stuck.  Im not so sure she got stuck, or more that she was so drunk she couldnt make it any further than halfway.  The floor was not a nice place for her to lie ... but then .. neither was the toilet my bare and now rather bruised ass was stuck.

Thankfully someone who was not so drunk and obviously not a moron managed to jimmy the lock from the outside and the door swung open hitting T in the back of the head. 
The crowd cheered (yes a crowd had now formed) .. I cheered, legs akimbo - tush in the toilet and dare a I now mention, my undies around my ankles.  My new found hero steped over T and grabed my hands pulling me free from the toilet.
I was free .. the sensible thing would have been to pee and go find a cab to take me home so I could ice my behind ... But I didnt ... it was $1 vodka night and I still had money in my pocket!